First off, it was a rough day yesterday. Work was fine. But I got some medical news I was not prepared for. I have since processed the news and am OK now with the journey forward. (I will do a blog update when I know more, but for now, my test results are pointing to lupus. Therefore, I will be seeing a rheumatologist to investigate that.)
When I got home, my new cyclocross bike was waiting for me and begging to be assembled. Steven started putting it together, and it would have been super easy to juts veg into the sofa and not run.
I decided that I would not let illness define me. I can’t give up when it is hard. (I can do hard things!!!)
I got dressed and told myself to suck it up. On the way to the trail, I was getting upset because I was so tired. I didn’t see how I was going to manage 8 miles. I easily did 6 yesterday. I am just so hit and miss on my energy and it is very frustrating. Not that any day I feel “good.” I am always tired. But some days I am less tired than others. Some days I can eek out a run. Some days I can barely get up to brush my teeth.
When we got to the trail head, I cried for a moment. And suddenly, I decided to just run. If I made it a mile and had to walk back, fine. Whatever. I just can’t give up and not try.
I started running and the first few minutes I struggled to find a comfortable breath. I felt like I was winded but kept pressing on. Eventually, everything loosened up and I felt good. The first few miles went well and I thought, “Wow! I am really gonna hit 8 easy tonight!”
And then we hit the mile 3 marker. I was stopped to get a quick drink when my headlamp picked something up maybe 15 or 20 feet away. I didn’t have my glasses on, so I thought it was a pair of baby opossums. But they didn’t move like opossums. I was going to suggest raccoons when Steven decided they were badgers. Badgers? Ok. But baby badgers! They were cute! I wanted to get closer and take a picture!
OK… so even baby badgers aren’t friendly creatures. They look cuddly. But really, they are just as pissy as an adult badger. They started growling at us when they spotted us. And instead of running away, they confronted us. These little guys had a real Napoleon complex. (And speaking of Napoleon… We could have used his skills at hunting badgers in Alaska. “A freaking 12 gauge, what do you think???”)
As they approached, I thought maybe I could scare them away with a rock. But they didn’t care. Steven stomped and yelled at them. Still, baby badgers didn’t give a f*ck.
They were really close and seemed more interested in Steven, so I skirted the edge of the trail and ran around them. Poor Steven was stuck to defend himself. They went up to him and he tried shooing them away, but they were just more angry. He swung his bike at them, but they were not going to back down. He pushed one back with his bike and that just seemed to make them more angry and he ended up hitting them with the bike. One of them tumbled backwards. Steven was able to run around them.
Seriously. I think I PRd that section running away from the badgers. Not cool. I have never seen such an aggressive animal. All that sort of taxed my adrenals. I made it to mile 4 and dreaded turning around. What if the badgers were still there? Why didn’t I bring my pepper spray? (And could I work my pepper spray anyway? What if I sprayed myself??)
We passed mile 4 and by 4.5 I felt like I was safe from badger attack. But the damage had been done and the last 2 miles were not as easy as the earlier ones had been. I seemed to work in out as I finished mile 8, but it was not the cakewalk I had planned for.
The thing is. I did it. It actually turned out to be an easy run for the most part. On my way to the trail, I was worried about getting in 2. And I did 8. I have to come out swinging on every run. That is the only way I am going to beat this. So. I will kick lupus’ ass just like I did with Hashimoto’s.